On Ian Mobsby and Marriage

So this has been rattling around in my head since class last week, and now I've gotten something else to kick up the rattling.

What is it? Well when Ian was doing his talk and mentioned the categories of people who are now outside the church so to speak, I mentally started putting people I know into the categories. This week, one of those people surprised me.

My very close friend who I will call "B" here, is getting married in May. I am an ordained online minister (so not a "real" one like the majority of you are going to be) but it allows me to officiate weddings. I started it because of another very close friend who wanted to get married, but could not find anyone that fit her and her husband's beliefs and tastes. They asked me, I did it, and now I'm getting reading for my fourth turn at the wedding helm.

What shocked me about B's request though, is AFTER she and her fiancee asked me, and I had said yes, they both then said, "We're fine with anything, but there can be NO mention of GOD". B is like me, raised Roman Catholic, was very active in the church growing up, and to my knowledge, was still an active member of her home parish. So I am completely blindsided, and am not quite certain how to proceed. When they told me "No God", I kind of laughed and said "you do know I am at Divinity School, right?", but we were with a group of people, and it wasn't the place to get into the discussion I wanted to.

Part of the reason I took this class was because for me, and I believe for many of you, opportunities to "be church" pop up quite often, and normally places where you don't expect it. I did not expect this, B surprised me, and as it stands, I may need to find someone else to do the officiating. While I realize this is their special day, I feel any union where two people pledge their love to each other, has God present. A union like that is a blessed and miraculous occurrence, and to try to shut God out . . . it just makes me unbelievably sad.

And I am bummed that someone who I thought safely in the "churched" category has gone so far to the other direction. I know, or at least I think I know, a large part of this has to do with the recent death of her grandmother, someone she was very close with. I am spending time with her tomorrow, so hopefully can get more information, because for now, I am just unsettled and confused.

It's always easier to reach the people who I am not as close with, she and I have been friends since we were 5 . . . so treading carefully . . .